I’ve noticed a phrase that keeps cropping up in my newsfeed around this time of year: “My word for this year is….” It took me a few articles and blog posts to get this idea, as the first thought that occurred to me was, “How can you pick just one??” Really! One word? I came to realize it’s not really about one word, of course. The word is a prompt to invoke a much larger idea. If the word is “joy” it’s not really just that word by itself; it’s a reminder to “choose joy” or “look for joy” or “appreciate the joy.” Just like a word stands for an idea that may need thousands of words to explain what it means exactly (hello, fellow mamas, when you’re asked to explain EVERY word your preschooler hears), picking a word for the year really means choosing an idea of something you want to be intentional about developing in your life, habits, or character, then selecting a word to represent that idea and imbuing it with your own special meaning and the power to recall your goal and remind yourself to keep working on it. Every time throughout the year you hear or see that word it will bring to memory what you’re trying to achieve, spurring you on to success.
Not wanting to be left behind, I started thinking about what my word for the year 2023 should be. A little late, I know, but better late than never, right?
I couldn’t pick one. Part of it is my natural tendency, enhanced by my upbringing, to be slightly, though not overly, loquacious. Okay, okay, I talk a lot. I love words and I love chocolate and it’s hard for me to be self-controlled with both. I don’t think it’s just me, though. The idea that kept coming to me didn’t seem to be easy to reduce to just one of its components.
“Do not despise the small things.”
I couldn’t remember if it was from a Bible verse or a poem or a novel I had read, but it’s been simmering in my consciousness for a couple of weeks and since Scott is off getting a sleep study I’m staying up stupidly late to jot down my thoughts on the subject.
“Do not despise the small things.”
I do this all the time. I bet you do too.
After Christmas we had family in town so we spent time visiting instead of putting things away. My house was an absolute wreck, with every horizontal surface was covered with stuff, including much of the floor. There were clothes everywhere and it had been days since I’d wiped up the sticky cereal-milk the kids get on the counter at breakfast every morning (it dries almost invisible on my countertop….). I could hardly walk through the place, which is a problem because there’s no light near our bedroom, so to get to bed I usually have to walk through the living room in the dark. Then one batch of relatives left and a new one arrived, and it was time to make cookies and play games and cook Christmas dinner and take family pictures. We had a wonderful time.
Then everyone left. There was nothing now between me and the mess monster that was working on swallowing up the entire basement apartment …unless you count the four smallest tenants who were doing their best to help stage a takeover– a new world order where we just leave the mess and keep getting out more stuff until we, according to my seven-year-old, “just move into a bigger house” when we run out of places to walk. The kids not having the finances for that venture, I settled into cleaning mode and by the end of the day the floor was clear and we had a place to eat.
To tell the truth, though it felt so much better to be able to move around without tripping or stepping on someone or something, at the end of the day my head was still buzzing about all the other things that needed to be done. So much was left to do, and I felt like I couldn’t really sit down to enjoy anything until it was all done. It didn’t, and couldn’t, get all done for several days, though!
“Do not despise the small things.” It popped into my mind. In that context, for that moment, it meant, “Yes, there is a lot to do. But stop and take a minute to appreciate the things you DID get done, even if they are small.” Maybe you didn’t get much done today. Maybe all you did was get the kids fed and in bed. You had goals and plans for your day and they all came crashing down because someone needed extra help with their math, then someone made a gigantic mess, someone else peed on the carpet, and the instant pot malfunctioned and there’s no dinner ready and you have to start the lengthy and convoluted process of a warranty claim. Listen, though, even if you feel like you didn’t get anything done, you SURVIVED! You kept going, kept trying–or gave up for a few minutes, screamed into a pillow, and came back out to try again. Facing the discouragement and getting back out there to try again seems like a small thing, but it isn’t. It’s courage. It’s determination. It’s the Holy Spirit’s sustaining power giving you “endurance and encouragement” (Rom. 5:15). Don’t despise that.
“Do not despise the small things” can also mean in that moment when you’ve had it about up to HERE with the little people in your house and you just need five minutes of peace and those toy whistles are for OUTSIDE only and why is the floor wet over here and for goodness sake stop crying about that paper cut! It’s been two hours and we already put a bandaid on it and what else do you want me to do about it? And no you can’t play video games right now and no you can NOT go see if the neighbors can play just like I ALREADY TOLD YOU THREE TIMES and no you can’t have a snuggle right now because my hands are covered in raw chicken and if I stop now there won’t be any dinner and yes we’re having chicken for dinner and yes I want pizza too but NO WE’RE NOT HAVING PIZZA.
It is so easy in those moments when I have so many things to do that I forget why I’m doing them–to create a home for my hubby and kiddos. They’re my small things right now, and I should take a breath and make sure that my actions, my tone, my body language is showing them they’re loved and not despised.
“Do not despise the small things” is also a reminder to appreciate the things others do for me, especially my husband and kids. It can be easy to think of what I want them to do and focus on where they’re falling short (blissfully ignoring my own problem areas).
“Do not despise the small things.” I also see this as a call to simplicity. In a world where kids are overscheduled and under-rested it’s easy to go with the flow. The kids would benefit so much from this activity! Little Jimmy could earn a scholarship if we get him in pee wee football this year with 3 practices a week plus games all day Saturday. Little Janie wants to learn to sew and play piano so we have piano and group practice and sewing lessons. They all want to be on the swim team.
There’s nothing wrong with any of these things. They’re all good things! And what else would they be doing? Sitting at home with Mom and Dad?
YES! Don’t despise the small things like time spent as a family, working together, playing together, worshipping together. Don’t discount the impact that your words may have on them months or even years later as they remember what you said on movie night about the choices the characters were making. Don’t forget that the moments snuggling on the couch with a blanket provide the security and safety that our children need to know anchors them so they can be confident in their interactions outside the home. Don’t downplay the importance of time spent just doing nothing together, modeling a healthy balance of activity and rest. We (and this is a reminder to me too!!) need to remember that sacrificing Mom and Dad to burnout and the small, simple moments on the altar of Good Activities can mean we end up with active kids who have shallow relationships with each other and with the Lord, because there simply wasn’t time for reading the Word or discipleship. What would it profit us for the kids to gain the whole world but lose their souls?
Speaking of being under-rested, I must must must go to bed. I’m not going to save this post and refine it and edit it– I’m sure it will never get posted if I wait to do all that! So here it is, my verbal vomit. You can see why I had trouble picking just one word for my year…. would it be “small?” (Btw that reminds me of a Josh Wilson song called <a href=”http://<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/dOBaLrItEyc” title=”YouTube video player” frameborder=”0″ allow=”accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share” allowfullscreen>Dream Small,)
It turns out that the phrase is really similar to a Bible verse, depending on the version, and here’s a great article I found while I was trying to figure out if it was quoting a verse or plagiarism to put it my blog: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/erik-raymond/dont-despise-the-day-of-small-things/
Happy New Year (yep, that’s me, always late), and if you don’t have a word for this year you can share mine.